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As we approach 14 February, the world around us is awash in red hearts and messages of love. While you’re either planning a special day with your loved one or doing your best to avoid all the silliness, there is probably one relationship you are not thinking about: your relationship with money.
What relationship with money? I hear you ask. And that’s exactly it. We don’t think about our money as a relationship partner. But what if we did? What would that tell us about the state of our finances?
Imagine treating your money like you would someone you’re madly in love with. What would you do? And what would you do differently if you treated money like a one-night stand? Or if you neglected it because you are too busy? When you think about your finances as an entity to have a relationship with, your money thinking and money solutions will change.
We are socialised to believe that our money problems will be over if we earn a bigger salary, or marry a rich person or once the kids are out of school. That is not true.
How often do we hear about a famous soccer player, for instance, who earned millions of rands while he was playing, but has nothing left a few years later and has to ask friends for handouts? We also hear about people who win the lottery or inherit pots of money, but soon after they are struggling again. Even people we know who earn big salaries often complain that they don’t have money.
On the other side of the coin, there are people who manage to save, despite earning a domestic worker’s salary.
The secret is in your relationship with money. If you believe money is bad (for whatever reason), you will not take care of the money you receive. You will get rid of it quickly. It will be like a one-night stand.
If you believe that you don’t deserve to have money, you might find it difficult to demand proper compensation for the work you do and to accept opportunities to receive more money. Like a person who allows his or her partner to be disrespectful.
If you believe money is difficult and for adults only, you will expect other people to look after your money for you. You will treat money like it’s the parent and you’re the child. A better alternative is to find yourself a financial coach to help you learn about money solutions that will you grow your assets.
It is important to realise that most of the time we are not aware of our money beliefs, and we do not think about money in relationship terms. That is why it is a useful exercise to set some time aside and answer the 4 questions above.
Once you understand your money beliefs, you can start changing your relationship with money for the better. And it will be happy to be your Valentine.
Visit Bayport’s information centre for some excellent money advice, tips and tools, and money solutions:
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